Mr Fantastic is up against it...

The Management Planner Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:53 pm

The TitanTron flickers on, and shows The Management Planner sitting at his desk, with his Apprentice Mr Fantastic standing by his side. Mr F has a concerned look on his face.

As Planner takes a sip of the coffee Mr F has just provided him, he splutters into the cup and hurls it at the wall behind his apprentice.

Planner: "You call THIS coffee? What am I paying you for? Idiot!"

Mr F looks visibly shaken, and is stood rooted to the spot.

Planner: "Tits? Tits! Get me some REAL coffee. Now! It's okay F, you're clearly not cut out for grunt work - you're a man after my own heart. Onto business.

"You may have seen that Mr Fogels, who you fired last week, named Bill Colt as your opponent in the Ladder Match on Tuesday's show. Tough challenge huh?"

Mr Fantastic nods his head, trying not to think about Colt's impressive Ladder Match victory on Thursday.

Planner: "Well kid, I got news for ya. I don't like it when my superstars interfere in my business. Colt doesn't run this federation - I do. With that in mind, allow me to introduce to you the newest recruit to the CWF..."

Planner presses the buzzer for the intercom and hails Tits McGhee.

Planner: "Miss McGhee, may I please have my 3pm appointment in here? Thank you."

The GM leans back in his chair, smirks, then stands up to greet his guest. Who is this new signing? The mystery man enters the GM's office and shakes his hand.

Planner: "I'm so glad you agreed to re-join us here at the CWF...Mr Fogels!"

Mr Fantastic looks shocked - as does Mr Fogels. Everyone is confused at this latest turn of events. Why would the GM re-hire someone he fired only days ago?

Planner: "Fogels - stand in the corner, face the wall, and shut the hell up!

"I know what you're thinking Fantastic. I've hired the guy you wanted out of the CWF more than anyone. But you have to understand, there are sound economic reasons for Mr Fogels re-joining us all.

"He sells a lot of merchandise; he brings in more fans; his mere presence alone is worth thousands to this organisation. And this signing is your first lesson in business, my young friend.

"In life, there are two kinds of people - winners and losers. Mr Fogels here is a loser; he lost his job because he wasn't good enough, then he came back with his tail between his legs, and on a lesser-paid contract. Not only am I now making more money out of him, but he is now desperate to keep his job this time around. So he works harder, for less money.

"But that's not the real lesson. I'm a winner. You can be a winner too. Eddie Hawkins? He's a winner. Ray Gotti? Winner. The Mad Redneck? Gigantic loser. What separates the wheat from the chaff is not fame, not titles, not women - but a simple five letter word...MONEY!

"I have plenty of it! You will have too if you keep on track. Eddie Hawkins always has money, as does Gotti. But all the other superstars in the CWF don't have money - that's why they're losers, and why we are better than them."

Mr Fantastic looks at Planner in awe. Could this be the catalyst for his dreams to come true? The GM certainly is inspiring in his speeches!

Planner: "Now, son, we take a step back and look at the short-term picture. Bill Colt convinced Mr Fogels here to nominate him as your opponent. Well, let's just see what Mr Fogels says now, shall we?"

Planner walks over to Mr Fogels, hands him a piece of paper, and whispers instructions to read the contents.

Planner: "So, Mr Fogels, who is Fantastic here going to face in Tuesday's Ladder Match? Remember, your new job depends on it..."

Mr Fogels: "I, Mr Fogels, loyal subject of his most magnificent GM The Management Planner, do hereby decide that Mr Fantastic's opponent on Tuesday will be...Stealthy."

The GM smiles, then speaks to his Apprentice.

Planner: "See? Who's the loser now? Fogels, and now Colt! That's why I'm the boss, and why they'll never amount to anything in this life.

"Now that we know who you're facing on Tuesday, let's turn to me shall we? I know you're going to win - no Apprentice of mine would dare to lose to a chump like Stealthy. As your reward for beating Stealthy, I'm going to give you the greatest gift of all...choosing my next opponent!

"Use all your experience and knowledge of the business Fantastic - think like me, and you'll go far."

Mr Fantastic looks thoughtful as Planner watches on intently. After 20 seconds or so, the GM is itching to get an answer.

Planner: "So, who's it going to be? You decided?"

Mr F: "Yes Boss, I have."

Planner: "And?"

Mr F: "I think you'll like it. I think you'll be impressed with me. But most of all, I think you'll be looking forward to the match...your Ladder Match against Bill Colt!"

Mr F looks at Planner with an air of hopeful expectation on his face. After no more than a second, Planner smiles. It's a great big smile, which developes into a raucous laugh. He's delighted!

Planner: "You're gonna go far kid! That's exactly what I had in mind! Now let's go get some drinks! Meeting adjourned!"

Planner and Fantastic leave the office, with the Boss' arm planted firmly around the shoulder of his young Apprentice...